Soul Tie

The words are in my mind 

Jus sitting there silent, tormenting me

I wana let it out SHOUT tell you how I feel

But what good is that gonna do

What's it gonna change

Nothing

Your approach was different 

And at first I was uncertain

Eventually I stepped out of my zone and let you into my world

Little and by little

Big mistake

Let's just be friends and if it goes somewhere else then it does

Not that again I've heard that before

My feet wanted to run but my legs wouldn't cooperate

Don't fall for it RUN, REDFLAG 

My mind was literally screaming but 

My flesh, soul, mind was intrigued 

The beginning of the end

I'm thinking this time will be different

He is a nice guy, educated

 I just gotta get to know him

It seemed like you enjoyed my company 

Yet you would never ask for it 

Oh but I had an open invitation when I wanted a personal one

I wanted to know that you wanted me around

And at what point did you make an effort to  know me

Not just me physically but ME 

This fragile vulnerable vessels who needs to be shown how to love

At what point did you make an effort to know my simplicity 

My favorite color, food, the fact that I like to walk the beach

Maybe it was me, maybe I wasn't demanding or direct

I was trying not to give you too much

And ended up giving you too much

Something for nothing

The story of my life

A lot of giving and no reciprocity 

So I found myself texting and checking on you

And in return I would get an occasional 

What are you doing in the late night hours

I found myself trying to fit in your day

Smh that's not me...what the hell was I thinking

I wasn't clearly and now I'm here

I allowed my feelings to take over and I wish they would just go away

I lay an wonder what you're doing

WHY DO I CARE you not worried bout me

So I sit sometimes angry at myself 

For allowing myself to go down this road again

The end of the beginning

And now it's up to me to break this soul tie