Intimacy

I feel poetically incline to get this off my mind

Down...to my fingertips

So many feelings and emotions

Shoulda Coulda would you please sir 

Touch me

Not physically but mentally

The undiscovered inner most parts of me

Deep within not the superficial 

 hello's and how are you today's

But the can you see me in your future type

Tell me how I'm suppose to breathe with no air type depth

Caress me

Not physically but mentally

Soothing my psyche

Easing the days stresses away

Your words cause endorphins to release 

My body relaxes, mind climaxes

Intellectual strokes

Feel me

Not physically but mentally

Understand my modus operandi

Why I do what I do

Do you feel me

Can you feel me where I'm coming from

Allow me to take you there

Connect with me intimately

Want me back

I want you to want me

It's as simple as that

I don't ask for much

But for you to give me time and attention

Yes I need it

I want it

Can get it from anywhere 

But it would mean more if it was from you

I find myself missing you 

Wanting to be around you

I feel like I'm always checking on you

Texting you

You respond but I want you to want me

To want me in your presence

To want to check on me

See how I'm doing

Not sure if you're feeling the same 

So I want you to initiate 

So I can be sure I'm not in this alone 

Am I in this alone

I wonder...

Its Just Emotions...

...It's just emotions taking me over

Nope, not another Destiny's Child song

But the real deal

For two years now I have been...on an emotional roller coaster

Nope not another Heather Headley song

But the real deal

Like this isn't me...

I use to have control of my emotions

But after all the heartbreak

Pain

Betrayal

Lies

There was nothing but hurt

Tears

Bitterness

Anger

So many instances where I would...give myself away

Nope, not anther William McDowell song

But the real deal
Literally giving myself away

My time away

My body away

My love away

To those who never showed reciprocity 

Takers

Taking a piece of me

 I look in the mirror and see brokenness 

Longing

Confusion

Frustration 

Trying to put the pieces back together 

But...it's just emotions taking me over...

*shrugs* teach me

They say the best relationships of any kind 

Need to have a solid foundation

A friendship

That's what I want 

Not that in between unestablished gray area 

Where my...assumptions get the best of me ;-)

Is he interested, is he not?

Is this going somewhere, is it not?

Ya know

Where we're attracted to each other 

And it's a little more than...just friends

Kissing hugging feeling touching

...Special friends huh

Friends with benefits...

That's not what I want

I have fallen into that trap before

I've had a few special friends 

And now they're not so special

Been there, done that

It's said if you want change you have to do something different 

Something about you is different 

I want to know what that is

I really want to be your friend

I really want to [take the time to] get to know you

But the problem is I have never done that before with anyone

And I'm not sure I know how...hmmmm

Suppressed Feelings

Uhmmmm 

Being around you makes me weak

When I'm not around you I think about you

When I think of you I have to stop myself

I don't even know what this is

Like I cant even explain it to myself

So I suppress my feelings

take...it...slow

But yet I want more

Your touch makes me tense and melt at the same time

To feel your touch 

Uhm uhm uhmmmm

I don't even have the words

So I suppress my feelings

Lets...go...deeper

Thats what my mind is eluding to

But I'm trying to keep afloat

Holding on to my emotions 

So not to give you too much...too much more

I want to let go

But instead I suppress my feelings